No better way

I really could not of wished for a better a way for Cohen's birthday week to start out than with snow. It's not because we had an amazing time playing in the snow with our boys( which we did) but because a little over a year ago, Chris and I stood outside one night as the snow started coming down and my heart ached. All I could think was that we had one little boy in bed that would be so excited to see the snow in the morning and one little boy in my belly who might never experience that with us - Cohen would never see the snow. Chris' response at first was that of our heart's longing, "maybe he will," and then seconds letter almost as if taking back the first statement back - "what Cohen may see will be far greater than this." And I got it. For the first time in our pregnancy with Cohen, I fully got it - the peace that comes when you let God have it all. When you hand to him the biggest thing you're holding on to. For the first time, as much as I longed to hold my sweet boy, to experience all the moments with him that a mother should get to, I longed more for my son see Heaven. Not that I wished for him not to be with us here, but just the realization that my true prayer for both my boys is that when it's their time, they'll see heaven on the other side. And for the first time in a long time, I longed for Heaven like I should. That peace didn't tell me with certainty that Cohen would live, but it told me that what God had for us, for Cohen, was, is, and will always be best. That's an easier pill to swallow when he's in my arms than it was then. But circumstances don't change that truth.

On Sunday night, as the snow began to fall and I was able to live that out with both of my boys - I felt humbled beyond words to be their mother. Humbled beyond words that God gave us this gift in Cohen. Going to bed, and knowing that I had two little boys to bundle up in the morning was just such a picture of redemption to me. To be where we were last year, in such a dark and lonely place, and then to be here, days away from celebrating Cohen's first year of life.... I don't have words for it.

And the thing is - this is so small for God. A few weeks ago, in church, our pastor said that the worse things can often be the best things - look at the Jesus on the Cross. Such a simple truth - that we all know - but for some reason that has just really stuck with me. What's big is God giving HIS son to die - and not just die but to be killed as if a criminal -to save us. To bring us into communion with him. That's big. That's redemption. And it's the only redemption we need.

Tomorrow, March 5th, our sweet Cohen turns one!! I really feel like I keep needing someone to pinch me. This little life that we began celebrating and praying for over a year ago has played itself out before our eyes over the past year. This little boy that I longed to just hold for at least a few minutes rests in my arms daily. We are so undeserving. We are so blessed.

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This week is super busy as we prepare for the concert - which we are beyond excited about. I hope all those who can will join us to glorify God for all he has done. The passion behind the support we received as we awaited Cohen's birth was incredible and we hope on Friday to extend that same passion on praising God for his miracles, for our salvation, and for who He is.

As we celebrate God's work in our lives, we are not unaware of the heartache that daily falls on others. And there our times I really wrestle with this. But we are called to praise God in all things and we are certainly called to give him the glory for all things. In the midst of this fallen world, we are beyond thankful for how God saved our sweet boy.

We have a lot of doctors appointments this week as well - pulmonology, shriners(orthopedic), ENT, one- year well check. And next week - developmental peds and geneticist. If you get a chance to say a little prayer for the Shriners appointment this afternoon that would be great. I guess in a nutshell just pray that the doctors would be thorough and that it will be clear to us if they are going to be able to provide Cohen with the orthopedic care and direction that we need.
I'll plan on updating you on the doctors appointments probably next week since the rest of this week is about PARTYING!!!
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Enjoy the fun pics in the snow...... there's also some new posts below the concert invite below. Quick update on my grandfather - he's doing ok and is in the rehabilitation center. He's been a bit confused since the surgery but that seems to be getting better.
The babies are also doing really well - click on their link in the sidebar - Brenna and BabieS to check in on them, As always, thanks for your prayers.

cort having milk and cookies while watching the snow( this was at about 9 at night because he was terrified of the thunder( yes, thunder) in the middle of the snowstorm...nothing a little milk and cookies won't cure:))