Cohen's first playdate

Cohen had his first real playdate about a week ago. A great old friend of mine, Elizabeth, has a precious little girl, Mary Wallace, who is just about 3 weeks older than Cohen. We got together at a friends house when she was in town. Cohen is pretty isolated right now to keep his lungs healthy - he has his own room at church for nursery and we don't do a ton of playdates these days unless they're out doors and since he isn't mobile at all he doesn't get to interact too much with the kids. We do get together with friends from time to time, but but most of our friends 2nd children are a good many months older or younger than Cohen. It was fun to get him together with someone almost exactly his age ( not size, mind you ;)). Looking forward to coming out of cold and RSV season where we might be able to do this type of thing a little more often.

In door Entertainment

Prior to the past week we had a super long spell of really cold weather. We've filled our time with trips to the library and lots of creative indoor play like forts, obstacle courses, car tracks all over the den, indoor putt-putt, and some construction vehicle play. Most of it left for a clean up nightmare but was tons of fun in the meantime!!!

Indoor Putt-putt

Construction Truck Play - ( a cookie sheet full of dry beans of toy construction trucks = a whole hour of play while mommy cooked dinner)


As much fun as all this creative in-door play was, we have been thrilled to have warm spring like weather this past week. We've spent countless hours outside and it's been SO NICE!!!! Can't wait for Spring to come and STAY!!!

11 months old...a bit late but how else would I do it?

( two 11 month pics this time - one in his jammies with his legs spread out so you can see his length better and one in onesie so you can see his adorable chubby legs)

I can't believe that I am writing Cohen's last "monthly" post before we venture into the one year old world!!!
Giddy is the only word I know to describe how I feel about planning Cohen's birthday and concert. I mean really - here we are.. in the countdown to ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!

This past month has been a fun one. Cohen is trying his hardest to sit up and will tripod on a toy or with his hands on his legs( since they don't reach the ground) for brief periods. He's also sitting better with indirect support - like with the boppie around him versus my hands on him. I'm not sure that he'll hit that milestone by a year but he's working hard on it.

Some of his fine motor skills have improved a bit. He has on occasion reached into a container to grab a smaller toy. Still not finger feeding but he does play with the food more so it's progress.

I feel like his looks have really changed recently - his face just looks a little more "boy" and a little less "baby." His hair is definitely thickening up a bit on the side finally and getting really long on top. He def. has some curl in his hair too. It curls and frizzes in the back a good bit and though it doesn't stand up on top near as much anymore now that it's gotten longer - he can still sport a good Mohawk or rooster tail if I just towel dry it and don't "comb" it down. I say comb loosely as I just use my hands to do the job. Mommy isn't a primper herself - you can bet she doesn't primp her boys!!!

He has been doing really well eating solids and continues to progress with eating more "table" food.
I haven't figured out what to do about bottles yet and if I am going to drop them all at a year or wait just a little longer. He still eats in the middle of the night too - something I'm also trying to figure out if I should force him to drop. It's just so hard to know what's right- there's no book for this!!! Sure, he's almost a year old but he's the size of a 2-3 month old - which one do I go on - age, size, or somewhere in between?

We did fight a night time battle this month and won!!! Cohen had started waking twice nightly and was not dropping it on his own. I know he wasn't hungry at 11:00pm at night but it was just easier to feed him and go back to sleep so we did that for a while. Well, one night we decided to let him cry it out a bit and he cried/fussed/and talked off and on for about 30-40 minutes. He would get really mad and kick his feet and wave his hands and scream and then stop and babble a little bit and then cry some more - it was kind of funny( and fun to watch on the video monitor). Then after about 30-40 min. he just stopped crying turned over on his belly and went to sleep. It was nice that he didn't actually cry himself to sleep but actually made the decision to stop and roll over and go to sleep on his own. So, now he's back to one night time waking - usually around 4ish. Crying it out was not really option for us before since he was on oxygen and all - it just didn't really seem appropriate. Not that we never let him cry or fuss without rushing straight to him but just no really prolonged periods. So, it was sort of a big deal for us to try it and am thankful that it went so well.

Speaking of oxygen - it's been out of our house for a month and he hasn't had it in 2 months and he continues to do super well!! This is such a blessing and such and answered prayer!!!

He continues to babble a lot and I keep hoping for a little purposeful "mama" sometime soon! :) He makes all sort of silly noises and will use his hands to manipulate the sounds - it's really cute.

He's been rolling around more and more. He doesn't quite use it to get around but will roll several times in a row to get to a toy or something and he always pops his little head up with big smile!!! He's not near crawling or anything but will push off with his feet sometimes and spin himself around a bit. He's so cute with his little hiney stuck up in the air doing that.

( he was on that blue blanket in the background and turned about 45 degrees)


He's def. gotten a little feistier this month, which is good to see. He has more of an opinion about stuff. He's always trying to grab his spoon or bowl... or trying to get his bib off. He'll really work hard sometimes to get stuff that's out of his reach. It's funny how much your perspective changes when your child has some limits or delays.... I find myself excited about some of those "misbehaviors" and have to remind myself to parent him in those moments too. I read a little email forward one time about how every moment sort of becomes a therapy moment and I can certainly see that to be true as I'll find myself almost encouraging him to throw his cup on the floor or to try to grab the spoon out of my hand. Times that I might say "no, sir" on the outside but am clapping and cheering on the inside.
Ok - I admit sometimes I clap and cheer on the outside when I should probably say "no." :) Hey, we like to celebrate the small victories around here. Cohen has certainly taught me not to take so much for granted, changed my perspective a bit( though I admit probably not enough) and to learn to enjoy the seasons I am in a little more.


Oh, baby Cohen - your about to lose the right to that name - baby Cohen. How weird is that? I so look forward to celebrating your first year of life. And my heart leaps a bit to think of the confidence I have that I will get to celebrate many many more with you. As you approach this first year mark I struggle knowing if I am as well equipped to be your mother as I hope. I pray daily for you - for your strength, health, and your heart sweet boy. I pray daily for me and your dad - that we will have the wisdom to make the right decisions for you. What a blessing you are, Cohen. My love for you is sometimes almost too much to bare.

For those of you who swear he never cries....

The way we have to use sleds here in the south.... Cohen LOVED being pulled around - the faster the better - he just beamed from ear to ear the whole time.


A little time in the exersaucer

I'm cute and I know it...

Sick Baby * updated

*Updated * Cohen is all better now. Thanks a bunch for your prayers. While I enjoyed the cuddles, I sure am glad to have him back to himself!!!







Cohen's big sick all weekend with a fever virus. He's been so pitiful just laying around on me( I can't say that I mind the snuggles.) with a 102.5 fever for a few days. I think he's getting better but it's hard to tell - his fever broke yesterday afternoon but then came back last night. He's fever free this morning but I'm just kind of waiting to see if it comes back. He's been eating okay and other than a little drainage doesn't have any other symptoms - his oxygen levels are fine. He's having a good bit of trouble sleeping at night so we're all a bit tired but making do.

Even though he's had plenty of ear infections this is really the first time he's run a fever and it's so sad to see him this way.

Please pray he gets better soon and that Cort doesn't get it. He seems to have some morning congestion but is otherwise fine.

Too Tightly

Trusting God. It seems so silly that this is even something I still struggle with. I mean really, after having trusted God with Cohen's life when everyone was telling us there was no life to come, why does it not just come easily as we move forward from that?

I worry. A lot. I can say that worrying by far has probably been one of my biggest struggles in my walk with God. Not giving things over to Him. Trying to control each and every little detail of my life. EVERY little detail. Over the past years, I've actually gotten a little better. I've let go of the grip I had on a lot of things. Loosened up a little bit. Two things in recent past that certainly made a profound impact on how much control I tried to take and how much I worried about things were when Chris left his engineering job to go on staff at our church in the summer of 2007 and the 2nd half of Cohen's pregnancy. First, the whole process of God leading us to take the position at the church was a great one for me. God taught me a lot about trusting my husband and trusting Him. Normally, something that was that big of a change would have really had my stomach all in knots but I had such a peace about it all. It was a process that took several months of talking it through, praying, seeking God in it all. God taught me a little about waiting on him, not being anxious, and just being. From the moment we finally decided to make the change, I felt a freedom, even just in day to day things that I really never experienced before. It was perhaps my first real experience with really just "letting go and letting God". Not easy to admit when I have been a Christian for 19 years!!!

Then, just about 3 months later, we had Cohen's 20 week ultrasound. Talk about things being out of your hands. Don't get me wrong, i had moments of trying to figure out some way to fix it or make it more tolerable... I had moments of anger at the way God was letting things happen... I had just about every possible emotion you can think of. But man, was there a peace and a sweetness about that time becuase it was just us and God. No website, doctor, friend, theologian, song, family, was going to change what they were telling us. Many or all of those things played a vital role in helping us through that horrible time but it was God who held us. It was God who helped me let my feet hit the floor every morning and my eyes to close for at least a few hours of restful sleep every night. It was God who placed the right people at the right time in our lives, it was God who knew exactly what my daily tears were for, it was God who heard my prayers even when I couldn't let my lips say them one more time... and it was God who surrounded us with protection and peace the night that Cohen was born, and oh yes, it was God who saved my son. I don't know how to put into words exactly what it feels like to carry a life literally inside you but yet to hold that life out with open arms to our true God for him to take. I don't know how we did it, but we did - only by the sweet, sweet Grace of our Lord. And that night Cohen was born, I believe God picked up my son, kissed his little forehead and for reasons we may never know, put him back in my arms.

And I have held on way to tightly ever since.

I have spent countless minutes, days, hours, weeks, months, worrying about Cohen and his development. Worrying about his medical care, his therapies, his nutrition, and wondering if we're giving him the best care possible. Watching every little thing he does and doesn't do and analyzing what that means. Worrying about how we'll parent him in the best way possible.

Give me one little ounce of control and I take it a mile.I learned so much about not needing to know answers or even the" reasons why" during my pregnancy and I have to fight daily not to let that all go out the window. I have so let the state of things on a daily basis control my mood, steal my joy, and lead to anger and frustration when things aren't "up" instead of finding all of my contentment in God. All of the sudden, the not knowing plagues me. Not knowing what life will look like for Cohen one month, 1 year, 5 years from now.

I'm fighting change tooth and nail just because I don't know what it means we're going to look like on the other side. It's pointless - everything about our life has changed. But that's not all a bad thing just different and sometimes it scares me. I want it to excite me - excite me that God isn't just leaving us where we are. That God has plans for us.

So I'm praying and practicing giving Cohen back to God... holding him out with open arms.... trusting that my sweet Savior is enough for me, for us, and for Cohen. Trusting that tomorrow is His to decide and all for His Glory. Enjoying the sweet, sweet blessing that God has bestowed upon us today.


This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him. Psalm 91:2

That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. Hebrews 4:14

For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Hebrews 3:14

Cort's #3 party

* sorry for the underlines can't get it to go away!!!

Just wanted to get Cort's bday party post up for my own sake. We had a dinosaur party and he had a blast!!! We had about 10 of his little friends over and I was really nervous it was going to be too many but everyone had a blast and it all went super smoothly.

We played pin the horn on the triceratops, made our own dinosaurs, and played dinosaur simon says. The kids were all super cute doing the actvities.


Cake as always was a big favorite among the little ones. I have made all of Cort's bday cakes and really enjoy doing it.




Cort got lots of fun things from his oh, so generious friends. Thanks everybody!!!



And this is the best picture I got of the birthday shirt we made for Cort. 3 triceratops - each one getting bigger and clearer to the number 3.

Way to go Cohen!!!!

Cohen ate 5 puffs today all on his own!!!(nevermind the 20 or more that are on the floor :))He picked them up, put them in his mouth, gummed them around and swallowed. This might seem silly to most of you but this is HUGE for us. He has not finger fed at all up until this point. He has eaten some things other than purees but only soft things and typically when we put anything a little hard in his mouth he spits it right out. He doesn't have a pincer grasp yet so he sort of just rakes and waits till he gets lucky but it's a good start that's for sure!!!
My camera battery was dead....I plugged it in and got just enough charge to grab a few pictures but he was sort of done with it all by then. And the camera wasn't focusing really well.

gumming a puff....


laughing at Cort....( yes, Cort lined up all those puffs so perfectly on the edge)
I'm done mom, sorry.....

A few other big deals for us... Cohen can finally roll to his back from his tummy and he is so happy about this - as are we. This is a skill that he did at a young age and lost so it's always been a bit worrisome to me. I am super proud of him. I found him on his back in his crib( after I knew he was on his belly) a few times the weekend of Cort's bday( the 11th) and then that monday(10 months, 1 week) he started doing it all the time.

Also he has been babbling up a storm. This has def. been something I have really let myself get over worried about.( working on a whole post about that right now!) He cooed, laughed, and even made his first constant 2 syllable coo sound on time but he has not really been babbling or making other consonant sounds. Cort had his first word at 9 months so for me this all just seemed so late. Well, the same weekend he started rolling over, he started babbling. Within days of me talking a lot with Chris about my concerns with his verbal skills,( and totally convincing myself we would end up with a 3rd therapy!!) he babbled every possible sound in the car one day. It was super cute and I just had to laugh( hear you loud and clear God - thanks!!) He babbles all the time now and I of course love it.

All of my background with child development and special needs is certainly helpful with Cohen at times but I can be my own worst enemy too.... Constant struggle to keep it all in check and stay a little grounded.

10 Months and 3 years old

10 Months




I can't believe that both of my boys are getting so old!!!!! Cort just turned 3 and Cohen turned 10 months old - just 2 months shy of a whole year!!!!!! I'm finally getting around to their posts - scroll on through and enjoy the pics(mainly of Cohen as Cort is never still enough for pictures these days!!!) or join me as I document things I want to remember.....

Cohen's had a good month. We have seen a lot of physical improvements this month. He began to push up on his hands instead of just his elbows at the beginning of this month and as the month progressed he has even become brave enough to try to grab at and play with toys while propped on one hand. While being active on his tummy he still labors a little harder to breath, he has found that he is quite comfortable on the tummy to sleep. This has def. become his preferred sleeping position. We have also finally stopped swaddling him at night and rotate between not using anything and sometime using a wearable blanket depending on how warm his jammies are.
Although he still isn't sitting, he continues to get stronger and stronger through his trunk and really enjoys playing while sitting supported. And while he still requires support to sit, the amount of support required has decreased by a good bit. I can hold him just at the hips a little and he does well. He has even bent down to pick up a toy and come back to sitting position. He also sits up pretty well in my lap sometimes without any direct support.

This was Cohen's first full month off oxygen and he has done great. At the end of this month, they picked up his oxygen supplies( on his 10 month birthday !) Yea - no more tape, loud machines, night time fights to put it on, having to keep the door open because of how much heat the machine puts out, and hopefully we'll see a drop in the electric bill! We still continue to check his oxygen with a monitor.

He has continued to have a pretty increased interest in toys and in fact has become quite the little protester if he drops a toy or if he take it from him! I think this month has been the first time we have started to see him a bit frustrated by his limitations. He still loves a lot of the same things - books, stuffed animals, piano, keys, animal/alphabet spinning ball, kick toy, and play gym. Some new favorites thanks to Christmas are the fisher price rockstar, this adorable little peacock, activity cube, and this little loopy clutch toy( I have no idea what to call it), and his swing( thought it's been a bit too cold to use it too much). He is getting better and better about manipulating his toys.



He started turning pages in books and it's so cute. He has to transfer the page from one hand to the other to reach and I love that he's figured out how to do that!
He loves finger play games and songs like itsy bitsy spider and such. He can't do the movement but things it's funny when I do his hands for him.

Eating has gone pretty well this month. He is getting about 4 bottles a day and one at night. We don't give him the dream feed anymore and that has gone pretty well. We've still had a few stints of him waking up twice at night but for the most part it's just once. The night he turned 10 months old he slept from 7:30 to 7:30 but only that one time and I guess that counts more in the 11th month.
The 2 biggest changes this month with eating is that we've had to start supplementing with formula and eating more solid foods. He gets about half and half now of formula and bmilk- my body just wasn't keeping up anymore. It took a little while to get him used to the formula but he's doing well with it now.
He is still mainly eating purees for substance but I've been able to make them even thicker and chunkier and he has started eating some other things hear and there - not a lot of quantity but at least a taste or a few bites. He doesn't finger feed at all so it's just stuff I give him off the spoon or put in his mouth. He'll actually yell for it sometimes - like the night I was picking a rotisserie chicken to make some chicken salad or the day we were all eating chicken salad over Christmas - apparently he's a poultry fan - he really liked both of them. He also likes and has had(not pureed).. apples, green bean, peas, peaches, cheese, banana, teething biscuits, wagon wheels( though he's not a big fan), and bread. He only takes a few bites of these things but it's a start.

Silly Cohen


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3 years old

I really can't believe that I 'm doing Cort's 3 year post. It seems like just yesterday that I was still documenting with little monthly updates!!
There is absolutely no baby left in this boy. He has fully embraced boyhood and it's pretty stinkin' cute!!

I really don't know where to start in trying to sum up Cort at 3. He is wild and silly, sweet and thoughtful, inquisitive and curious, creative and imaginative, and sometimes a little sneaky and manipulative ;)!!

He is so silly these days. He'll do anything to get a laugh and absolutely loves laughing - I mean the fall on the floor, hysterical type. It's so cute and I just love it. He's become so imaginative - telling stories, searching for the dinosaur that's on the loose in our house, or going to the "zoo" in our backyard. Every night we have to tell purple tiger stories - i don't really even know how they got started but there is a purple tiger that lives in our backyard and he and Cort go on daily adventures. I love this creative type playing and he does too. It'll keep him occupied far longer then most store bought toys. He still loves cars and has had an increasing fascination with dinosaurs( the theme of this year's party). He also loves doing crafts, reading books and puzzles. He has recently really gotten into playing games as well. I love this new stage of playing - where there are things that we can really do together but he's independent enough that I don't do it all for him. He still loves music and loves to sing.



It's crazy to me how in one year's time we can mover from 3 and 4 words sentences to full out conversations and the newly arrived question phase. I mean we are in the "why?" stage full swing!!! ... Why? Because he asks a lot questions. Why? Because he's curious. Why?Because he's learning new things. Why? You get the point. :)
I love how he picks up on adult words and uses them correctly (and incorrectly sometimes). His current one is "actually" like in this little monologue Cort gave us while making Jesus' birthday cake on Christmas Eve - actually with the correct usage:

" we're going to make this cake, and sing happy birthday, and eat it and get a messy face. But Jesus won't get a messy a face cause actually Jesus won't be there and we'll eat his cake for him. Mary and Joseph too."

I love how even with such a silly side that he can be so serious as he concentrates to try tries to learn and figure out new things.I love seeing how his little mind works and the new connections he makes daily - and I swear you can sometimes visually see his little mind trying to make new connections.

A few weeks ago, while Chris was putting Cort to bed, Cort asked him," who's that walking?" We have hardwoods in our hallway and he can usually hear one of us walking down the hall but I wasn't home that evening so Chris told him no one was walking and Cort lay back down. He immediately sat up again and said "there it is again, who's that walking?" Chris doesn't know what he's hearing but then asks him if he only hears it when he lays back down( on Chris' chest...) Cort said yes. He was hearing Chris' heartbeat and thought it was someone walking down the hallway. He was quite intrigued by this and the next morning had to hear everyone's heartbeat including Cohen's.

As far as a few new skills... he's getting better with letter recognition though he does better choosing the letter than naming it. He can count objects up to 13 without any problem and up to 20 from time to time or with a little help. He can recognize his and Cohen's name. He is quite impressed with the fact that they both have an "C' and a "O." He can draw a little bit - like stick figures or simple shapes. He "draws" lots of other things and then tells me what it is. ( glad he shares and I'm not left guessing ;)) He's starting to pick up on rhyming a little bit and he gets a good many opposites. He's got a good many books memorized and will "read" them to us. He definitely gets that letters makes words and that the print in books say something.
He's recently really in to concepts like yesterday, tomorrow, next week, etc. He uses some of it correctly but it's really cute when he mixes it up. He also does this with older and younger. For instance, he'll say Daddy, when you get younger like me.... too cute.

He absolutely adores his Daddy and wants to do all things like him. I just love watching them play and spend time together.




Overall, he's a pretty obedient kid though I can see that 3 might be a little tougher on us then 2. I mentioned before that he's really silly and he knows how to try to use this to get out of doing something we ask or to avoid discipline. He has perfected stalling and has even started lying a little bit ( ie. Mommy said I could,etc.) It is crazy to me how this sin nature really is just present in their little hearts. Our prayer is that we are able to teach him God's love and truths and actually reach his little heart instead of just trying to make him behave.

He still takes an afternoon nap and sleeps about 10-11 hours at night. Still an early riser - between 6:30 and 7 most mornings. He's totally potty trained but not night timed trained.

His 3 year old stats are 25lbs 1oz and 36 inches tall. We're still working with the doctors about some of his growth stuff.

I have loved being Cort's mommy for the past three years and I can't believe how possible it is to love him more and more everyday!!




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And here's some Cohen's 9 months pictures that we took ourselves and I promised to post .... I didn't have time to get them up before Christmas. I'm pretty happy with how they turned out...