First things First

Ok - I know you all want an update on the concert and I will work on that post next but I first feel I owe an update on how things went when we went to the funeral home a few weeks ago. I so very much appreciate everyone's prayers and I am so sorry that I have been delayed in posting about it. I actually wrote a long post last week about it and blogger wouldn't publish and I somehow managed to lose the post. Bummer.
Chris and I are continued to be amazed at how God protects us and goes before us. Needless to say we were dreading the funeral home appt. We didn't want to go but just felt we needed to. I was terrified that we would be pressured into making final decisions that we just aren't ready to make - terrified that somehow it was like we were giving up and failing our son. Our God is good. We went to the appointment and met with a lady named Jennifer. She was very nice and not at all pushy. We were there for probably about and hour and a half. We were not only not forced to make final arrangements, we weren't really even expected to. We received all the information we need to plan and prepare as much as we decide to but she will meet is in the hospital if or when the time arises and we can share our decisions then. This felt so much better somehow- just that Cohen doesn't have a funeral arrangement completely written up and filed. She took simple information that seemed normal and natural and provided us with what we needed. In the end I was almost even glad that we went - she was able to bring up some things that we probably wouldn't have thought of and if the time arises wouldn't have been able to pull together last minute. Chris and I talked later that day about how it seemed so strange to do that one morning and to leave unbroken. Some would call it adrenaline. We call it God.
That afternoon I received a letter in the mail from a girl I know from college. We don't see or speak often but somehow God used her for me that day. Chris and I were struggling so much with the balance of preparation and faithfulness. We felt a bit faithless going to the funeral home and we felt a bit like our faith was not where it needed to be because we would always qualify our belief that God could heal Cohen with the statement that we know he may not and therefore continue with preparations in case he does not. In the letter, she wrote of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. It is always amazing to me how the scriptures can speak to you a million times over. Here is this story that we learned at a young age in children's Bibles but I needed someone to point it out to me for me to hear God in it for this time in my life. Nebuchadnezzar throws the three into the furnace and their response is this,
" If to be so, our God Whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire, and He will deliver us out of you hand, O king. But even if he does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set up." Daniel 3:17-18

God does deliver them. Their faith that God can is enough. They know he may not and their hearts choose to worship God anyway. That is were we are. We could walk into that funeral home and walk out unbroken because our faith rests in a God that is real. It rests in a God that is sovereign and and a God that can heal. It rests in a God that is good and that loves us. We walked out unbroken because we do have hope. It doesn't mean all our days are easy - it doesn't mean I never fear but it means we have hope - hope that God's way will always prevail.

The hospital tour was also good for us. Some things had changed since Cort was born in a good way and it allowed us to have a better picture of how things might go that day.

I again want to thank everyone for their prayers and support. We feel it.