Teaching Truth

I was asked once of the students I taught with severe mental disabilities, " What is the point of them going to school? What could you possibly teach them?" I burned in anger at the lady who asked me that. It was my first year of teaching and I uttered something to her about everyone being capable of learning and everyone deserving a chance. I didn't have children at the time -she did and I just couldn't understand how anyone could think that way.

My answer would be different now. While the above remains true, I would of also proudly said that not only did my students learn and grow but they taught me. They taught me so much.

I received a phone call yesterday that I had been dreading for years. As soon as I saw the name of my old teaching assistant flash up on my cell phone - i knew and I didn't want to answer the call. A former student - that sounds so impersonal and doesn't do justice - a sweet, sweet girl that I loved dearly was in the hospital and they didn't expect her to make it much longer. A few hours later I stood outside her room at the hospital trying to convince myself this wasn't happening. But it was. I spent some time with her and some brief moments with her family. It was good to see her. She is beautiful. I didn't like seeing her in that hosipital bed with oxygen and IV's but there she was - as beautiful as ever. I stayed for a bit and then left them to be just family. It means the world to me that they allowed me to see her and to put my arms around them. I sat out in the waiting room for about another hour - I just couldn't leave.

I got the second phone call this afternoon. They say she went peacefully - I believe it. I believe that she went peacefully and gracefully into the arms of our Lord. Lauren had a rare disorder called Sanfilipo syndrome - it was a progressive disease - and yet the only way I know to describe her is to say that she was full of life and joy. She couldn't speak a word and yet she spoke volumes to me. She and her family taught me so much about loving and trusting the Lord and loving life. About seizing each day. Through my pregnancy with Cohen - they were on my mind constantly . I had a new appreciation for the knowledge that they lived with daily - that one day the Lord would take Lauren and that each passing day brought them closer to that and yet that is never how they lived. They loved Lauren and enjoyed her every second with everything they had.They did not live paralyzed by fear. They lived. They made great memories. I spoke with Lauren's mother not long after we found out about Cohen and when I got off the phone with her it was the first time that I really felt hope. She spoke truth to me about our God in ways she probably doesn't even know. Her family came to Cohen's prayer concert and just seeing Lauren there - it did my heart such good. You see, there was always something about Lauren - you really could almost tangibly feel God's presence when she was around. Lauren was always a reminder of the truth that God is always with us to me.

I taught Lauren for three years. She taught me more. And I believe in her almost 11 years of life she taught many others.

My heart is broken tonight. But Lauren is not. Lauren is whole and painless and experiencing a joy that we can't comprehend. She is dancing tonight. Her beautiful smile and her infectious laughter are filling the heavens tonight.