Remembering

I love home. There is always something so nice about pulling into the driveway and walking into your home. Not the house but the home. Houses are full of furniture and stuff and homes are full of memories. Christmas time certainly fills the home with lots of memories to me even though this year will actually be the first time we'll spend Christmas morning in our own house( and I am SOO excited about that by the way). Every year as I pull out the Christmas decorations I think back on Christmas' past for us and back to the very first Christmas when God came to earth in the form of a little baby.

This year I've taken special notice of what's around our house. And from obvious messages...like the nativity set sitting on our foyer table to little things that only hold special meaning to us... I just love how Christmas time fills the home with memories and especially those of the great gift of God's son.

We aren't overly sentimental but we do tend to fill our home with memories all year long... more pictures than artwork, trinkets from traveled places, or gifts given to us from special people...and now I love how our home is filled with little and big reminders of the blessing of Cohen in our lives. When we were pregnant with him we spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to pay tribute to him and his life in our home without it feeling like like a shrine or overpowering. We did little things... like put up his ultrasound pictures in a frame and bought a box to keep all of the letters people sent us and later the notes people wrote and his concert. Our dear, dear friends threw us a shower and people showered us with gifts for Cohen and for us.. things to remember him by( shadow box, poems, a painting etc.), fun outings to do with Cort ( like zoo memberships or monkey joe parties) , pamperings ( like massages and salon gift card), sweet gifts for him to use during his moments with us(gowns, rattles, etc.). Those things fill our hearts and our home.
As I took out Christmas stuff this year it reminded me of these things as there were some things gifted to us last year at Christmas in that same spirit. I wanted to document some of the things that fill our house as a reminder of one of the great blessings God has bestowed to us in our life. A reminder of His love for us and the grace He extends to us daily....A reminder of the miracle...

Cohen's ultrasound pics and an angel of hope gifted to us...

A sweet sweet ornament given to us last year by a friend of my sister...


An ornament made by the Burn's - Molly makes these ornaments every year and we have ones from every year of our marriage and she gave us this before Cohen was born... not knowing if we would really get to hang it as his First Christmas ornament....by far my favorite ornament we hung this year!!!

Cohen's box with letters and words of prayer....
A painting given to us at Cohen's shower with symbolic meaning of our family and God.....( this picture doesn't do it justice and I'll have to do a whole post on this one day about it's meaning - it's AWESOME)


The frame given to us by the church staff when Cohen was born.... so so sweet....
I am humbled daily as I scoop my sweet baby out of his crib knowing full well that I don't deserve him. And am beyond humbled that God sent His own Son for me... that He suffered in unimaginable ways for a sinner like me. That Jesus stepped out of His comfort zone and rightful place beside our Father and came to earth by very humble means and put on our flesh so that we might live eternally...

what a Gift.....

...we are beyond grateful and thrilled to be celebrating Christmas with Cohen in our home this year and the gift of his life is unbelievable to us however, that Gift God send many years ago to a little stable in a small town of Bethlehem is what our hearts really rejoice over this Christmas and all year long...

...praying you all know that Gift this Christmas. Merry Christmas to all of you!!!

Christmas Train

We went to ride the Christmas train this weekend! Cort loved it. It's this little train with lights on it and their are inflatable Christmas decorations all along the track. They serve hot chocolate and cookies for the ride. Great fun!!!


This is the first year we have really convinced Cort to sit in Santa's lap. We couldn't get a smile or a single word out of him but it's progress.....

9 months and more

I've finally caught on most of the posts I've intended to do.... I've placed them on the blog in order to keep them chronological for my sake so you can either scroll down or click on the links below. Sorry that it took me so long - especially Thanksgiving and Cohen's 9 month post - but please take a peak anyway!!!!


Thanksgiving
9 month post
Christmas Tree and festivities

Do you have $5? Please help

Take 2 minutes and watch this video. A company that some good friends of ours works for has partnered with Safe Harbor, a shelter here 

for abused women and are working on raising as much money in 5 days as they can. I'm a bit late in getting this up as tomorrow ends

the 5 days but if you feel compelled, ask yourself, really, what is five dollars to you? A coffee run, a convenience lunch, 5 items at the target dollar spot?  

Because it's a lot to a women seeking shelter from 

her abuser.

Go here to donate. Thanks!!!

I have no idea why blogger is showing the format so strange - maybe it's just my computer and it looks fine to you guys - if not..sorry I can't get it to change.

Updated post below....

Oh, Christmas Tree and long over due update

I realize that I probably just lost half of my blog readers by being so late on updating... no good excuse except being too busy. I can't tell you the number of times that I have sat down and started to blog but then haven't. So for a quick update on what's been going on and then a lengthy post about some good ol' Christmas stuff...

* Cort has been fine with no more reactions or breathing issues... hoping it was a one time thing and we won't have to deal with that again...

* Cohen ended up with a pretty icky night time cough but it never developed into anything more and his oxygen levels have remained high ( YEA!!!) We have been so pleased about how well he has handled being off of oxygen. They are planning to pick up the oxygen at the first of the year if he goes through the whole month with out needing it. While I am super excited about that, I have to admit that I am a bit nervous as well!!!

* this past weekend I was sort of down and out due to some super random skin infection I got some how- it was super painful and I ended up with a fever and all but am on the mend now and glad to be getting that behind us. It was a little freaky for a little bit there because it didn't seem to be responding to treatment but all is well now. 

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So, Christmas tree decorating is kind of a big deal in our house. Each of the boys have a tree in their room, we cut down a real tree, and have a Christmas tree decorating party( just us).
This year, Cort really got into his little tree in his room and was eager to share his ornaments with Cohen's tree until he realized Cohen had ornaments too - then he wanted Cohen to share his ornaments with him. :)

It's sort of funny that we love Christmas trees so much as we don't have the best track record with them in recent years. The year I was pregnant with Cort our tree was infested with aphids!!! I also sucked the tree skirt up into the vacuum cleaner and ruined it. Our cat( which we had to get rid of when Cohen was born) kept peeing on the said tree skirt. ( Don't worry we have a hole free, pee free one now!!!) This year, the night we got out tree Cort had an asthma or allergy attack of some sort. But still.... we love us some Christmas tree!!!

As we have headed into this Christmas season is has become so apparent to me just how hard last Christmas was. I thought we were doing okay but looking back now I can hardly remember any of it - except for the parts where I just kept grieving that Cohen wouldn't be here with us this Christmas.  Don't get me wrong... Christmas was a sweet time for us too - I couldn't help from think of how God gave his own son for us, willingly, and  how unbelievable that was that he loved us that much!!! There have been a few events that have been strange but oh so wonderful to go to or do this year with such contrast to what it was like last year and what we thought it would be like this year. One of those is def. cutting down the Christmas tree.

Last year, we went to cut down our tree.... trying to keep up our family traditions and trying to do fun things with Cort. And I am not exaggerating that last year EVERY family on the lot had a 2ish or so child and were expecting or had a little baby with them. For the most part I didn't struggle with women who were pregnant last year - I wanted them to have healthy pregnancies and babies - it was a great reminder to me of God's goodness in this fallen world - and I was even okay with newborns themselves...but it was harder to be around families with children around Cort's age and a new baby. Then, after cutting down our tree and heading home, we actually stopped at a cemetery we had passed to "check it out." It's crazy to em that we did that then, but that was our reality and somehow doing something for Cohen, even if it was something that heavy, felt good. 

But oh, how different this year was. Even though their crop was awful and we ended up just buying a fir tree instead of cutting down a pine like we always do - IT WAS GREAT!!! Just to be on that farm, where we were last year, with both of our boys... to drive past that cemetery and not need to stop... PRAISE GOD!!!! May I never be ungrateful for those types for things and may I always stay aware of the fact that that is the reality that people  I know and don't know are living through at holidays and every other day of the year. 

Cohen LOVED the trees!!! He was so excited to see them all and loved running down the bumpy gravel road. Cort got really into it this year trying to find the "best one." Too bad we didn't get to actually cut one down with him. But he was excited anyway. 

Our tree is by far the smallest we have ever had but a good tree none the less. I know I mentioned this before in years past but I just love our Christmas tree decorating tradition. We have a party for a family - complete with a whole spread of party foods. My parents did this with us growing up and it is so much fun and really makes decorating the tree a family affair. Here's a few from Cort helping get ready for the party, the food, and the decorating. 

update on Cort

We're sticking with the allergy. We saw the doctor this morning and his airway sounds clear. He only ran the fever on sat. for about 1. 5 hours and it never came back. He shows no signs of illness what so ever. The doctor thinks it was more like an elevated temperature due to conditions versus an actual fever. He'll be on the steroid until Wed. so we'll see how he responds to the tree after that. Even if he's okay with it then, the doctor still thinks it's most likely what caused the issue in the beginning as he was on the tree farm for a while and then cutting the tree and bringing it into the house... all of this just possibly caused some over exposure. I'll keep you posted.

I've still got lots of catch up posting to do... thanksgiving, Cohen's 9 month post( that's right - 9 MONTHS!!!!!), decorating the tree ( yes, we know we might just be undecorating it to take it out), and possibly a few more i've been working on in my head.. hopefully I'll get to some tomorrow.

Thanks for your prayers for Cort and our family.

Prayer request

Friday night Cort woke up basically having what seemed like an asthma attack. ( this is not something he has ever done before) He was wheezing and having a hard time catching his breath to talk. He coughed a little and it sounded croupish but he has not been sick at all - no runny nose, cough, sneezing, anything. I gave his some benadryl wondering if he was having an allergic reaction of some sort( maybe to the Christmas tree we got that night) and we put him in a steamy bathroom - all of that seemed to help but he was still breathing harder than usual. We considered taking him to the ER in the middle of the attack but I checked his oxygen with Cohen's monitor and his levels were good and he was coming around so we watied it out. I called the peds in the morning( they have sat. morning hours!!) and we went in. She said that he didn't have any fluid but sounded very tight. She did a breathing treatment in the office and it helped a lot so she sent us home with a nebulizzer. She thought it was probably an allergic reaction as well since there were no other symptoms present. The rest of the day he continued to breath harder than usual and we conitnued the breathing treatments.

Then, late afternoon yesterday( sat.), he was running a fever. So that makes us think it's some sort of virus - which is really worse because that means that this virus that caused Cort such resperatory distress is somethign that Cohen could catch! However, he only ran the fever for about 1-2 hours and hasn't had it since nor has he had any other symptoms. Very strange. We're still be super careful with trying to keep Cohen away from possible germs and are still giving Cort breathing treatments until we see the doctor again in the morning. Cort didn't cough or anything last night so that's a good sign. So was it the tree or some type of strange virus? We're not sure.

Please pray that Cort continues to feel and breath well and that Cohen doesn't catch anything if it's "catchable" and that we'll determine if the tree is a problem for Cort. We're suppose to have a monkey joe( bounce house) party with Cort tomorrow and really don't want to cancel it either - not sure if I should but if he doesn't run a fever again and has no symptoms then it seems like he's fine - decisions, decisions.... I try to be so careful with not spreading germs around but don't want to be overly paranoid about it either.

Thanks a bunch for your prayers!!!

9 Months old

9 MONTHS!!! I almost don't even know what to say about that.

Cohen's past month has been a lot of fun - even with all the sicknesses in the house. His little personality just keeps coming out more and more everyday. He is still super LOUD and loves to hear his own voice. I just can't get over this deep throaty noise he makes over and over again. Too funny. It was super hard to get a picture of him with his monkey because he just kept instantly grabbing it and putting it in his mouth( have I mentioned before how EVERYTHING goes in his mouth?)He is also SOOO expressive - he makes the silliest faces.

I have just love watching him learn how to use and manipulate his arms better. Sometimes, it's like you can really see him thinking about it as he does it. He had been reaching straight out and up and this month he starting reaching over, to the side, and behind. I am not sure how much that makes since to everyone as we tend to take those types of things for granted with our little ones after the initial first grabbing. But this has been a big obstacle for Cohen and we are so proud of him as we watch him overcome it.I also love how he uses his feet to get objects and bring them to his arms when he can't reach them...

This month he has found a new love for books. He LOVES books. He gets so excited at night if I put down the bottle and pull out a book. He instantly smiles and kicks his feet. He tries really hard to turn the pages too. His favorites right now our def. Moo Baa La La La and Brown Bear.

He shows preferences for toys right now and gets really made when he drops them and they are out of his reach.

He really enjoys sitting up but still doesn't have quite enough balance and strength to do it. If we put a sturdy enough object in front of him so that his arms can reach it he will "tripod" for a little bit but still doesn't put weight on his arms at the hand for very long. He will push up a little bit now on his hands while on his tummy though. He still flips to his tummy a lot but doesn't roll back. This has started to be a little bit of a problem when he's going to sleep because he doesn't wanted to stay on his tummy long term. :)He'll bear some weight on his knees now if you put him there and prop his forearms on something( like a tray or stool, or toy).

We've been all over the place with night sleep and with eating. We dropped the dream feed and for several weeks he handled that well - only waking once to eat( where as he was getting his dream feed and waking once) Then he went to waking 2x a night. I'm glad he's eating and all but would sure love a full night's sleep. Same with eating during the day - some weeks he has been packing it in at crazy amounts and some weeks he's hardly eating at all. He has pretty consistently increased his solid food intake - he used to only eat about 1 oz. of veggie or fruit and a tablespoon or so of rice or oats. Now he's taking 2-3 oz. of veggie or fruit so that's good. We started giving him yogurt and he really likes it too. His favorite food right now are yogurt, carrots, peas, blueberries and apples. At 9 mos. he's still not eating anything other than purees though I can do them pretty thick and and a little on the chunky side.

Still taking 2 naps and sleeping about 12 hours at night.( minus waking up to eat)

It's been so fun to watch him develop so many new skills this month. Love, love, love this little boy!!!!

Graduating

This might be it.... the last time you see a picture of Cohen wearing his oxygen...

That's right. We went to the pulmonologist right before Thanksgiving and they ordered a trend study over night and the results came in today - NO MORE OXYGEN!!!! We'll keep the oxygen in the house for a little longer and continue to check his oxygen daily to be sure he doesn't dip after being off of it for a while. We are pretty hopeful that this will be it. He is like Houdini and has managed to get the oxygen off most nights over the past month anyway. He's a smart little guy - one night we taped the tube down everywhere so he couldn't get a hold of it and pull it off and he actually stuck his fingers in his nose to pull the tube out there!!!!( we have a video monitor ;)) In the meantime, we'd appreciate prayers that his oxygen levels stay up. Also, he's stuffy right now and has been coughing a little today - please pray that it won't turn into anything more.

And speaking of graduating, we went to the NICU reunion a few weeks ago. It was a big deal for us to go because we don't usually take Cohen to indoor places with so many people but we're glad we went. We were able to see one of our favorite nurses, Claudia, who took care of Cohen a lot while in the NICU.

We were also able to see two of the families who we spent a lot of time with in the NICU. So fun to get a picture of the kiddos together and catch up a little bit. All the kids are doing great!!!

Cohen, Adah, and Maggie...

We went to the geneticist last week too - not a lot to report but he thinks he's doing great. I also got some of his xray pictures for those of you who are curious about that sort of thing. I'll get them uploaded soon and post them.

A few other pics...

Cohen trying to get a hold of my camera strap....


Cohen reaching out to play with his toys( love this new skill!!)

Just a cute one....

Several more posts updated below... paw-paw's bday, and some cute brother pictures too

Paw-Paw's 80th Birthday

We were all thrilled to go to the beach the weekend before Thanksgiving and celebrate my Paw- Paw's 80th birthday party. As I mentioned before, he was diagnosed with cancer this past spring and we were basically told to only expect a few weeks to one or two months. He is such a fighter.
My Paw- Paw told my mom this summer that the two things he wanted to do before he died was to see his 80th birthday and to get to see Cohen grow up a little more. Praising God for 80 years, another visit with Cohen, and praying now for another one at Christmas.
Any moment that my Paw-Paw's arms were free he wanted Cohen in them. This is how he spend most of the party...


My mom did a great job planning the party and my Paw- Paw just loved having all his family there.

This was also the first time my neice and my brother- in- law were able to meet Cohen. He was in the NICU still when they were here in the spring. My sister and I loved having the kids all together. Here was our attempt at a few good pics....

Brothers

Cort and Cohen get along great ( granted Cohen isn't mobile yet so we'll see if that sticks around!!). I just love how sweet Cort is with Cohen - always wanting him to play, bringing him toys, etc. While pregnant with Cohen one of the things I mourned was Cort getting to be a big brother at this age. It's just so sweet to get to see him in that role as I hoped for.
At night after baths we always end up getting both of boys pajamed( yes, I just made that a verb) on the bed in Cohen's nursery. They are so cute together...



Cort was SUPER excited to actually get to get in Cohen's crib one day....


And just some other cute brother pictures...